You can't motorboat a personality
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
