Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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