Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
