if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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