He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
They took my balls.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
