Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
