I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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