Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
no more duck duck goose at the bar
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
