It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Holy shit dude........stairs
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
