I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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