Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize