i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
