I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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