so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
