you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
