I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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