Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize