"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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