We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
