He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
