i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The feeling are messing with the penis
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
