Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
