The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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