guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
