Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
