Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
