I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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