Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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