I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize