Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I AM VODKA MAN
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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