Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
