Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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