Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
