Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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