the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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