But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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