I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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