I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
