My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Randomize
