I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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