I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Non-Jews are for practice
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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