seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
