I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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