come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
