you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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