Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
