We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
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