WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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