That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
smell my finger.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Randomize
