he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
