He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
